Be Real......Be Wise....Be You................

A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the mist of all your fears & insanity you stop dead in your tracks & somewhere the voice inside your head cries enough!!! Enough fighting & crying, struggling to hold on. And like a child quieting down after a tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you blink back your tears & threw wet lash's you begin to look at the world through new eyes... You realize it's time to stop hoping & waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety & security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact he is not prince charming, you are not Cinderella and in the real world there are not always fairy tale endings or beginnings. A happily ever after really begins with you, and through this process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. My mother wrote me once and said... "You are not perfect, not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that’s OK. It’s their views, their opinions. If you live your life trying to please everyone around you? You will leave no room to please yourself”. I have learned the importance of loving yourself, and finding confidence? births self approval. Stop complaining and blaming other people for things they did to you... or did not do for you... learn that the only thing you can count on is the unexpected. Learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say & that not everyone will always be there for you. Stand on your own and take care of yourself and in the process safety & security will birth self reliance...Stop judging & pointing fingers. Begin to accept people as they are & overlook there shortcomings & human frailties... and in this process a sense of peace & contentment brings forth forgiveness...Realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you is a result of all the messages & opinions that have been en-grained into your psyche. Sift threw all that you have been fed about how you should behave, look, weigh, wear, shop, drive, live, work, sleep, marry, expect of a marriage, the importance of having children, raising them, and what you think you owe your parents. Open up to new worlds & different points of view, begin reassessing, redefining who you are & what you stand for (REALLY)!! Learn the difference between wanting & needing... Learn to go with your instincts and trust in God with all of your life... Learn that it is truly in giving that we receive...There is power and glory in creating & contributing... Stop maneuvering threw life as a consumer, fiend, looking for your next fix... Learn the principles; honesty & Integrity, faith & prayer are the motor that holds together the foundation upon which your life must be built. It’s OK not to know everything. Distinguishing between guilt & responsibility, the importance of setting boundaries, learn to say No!!! The only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry. Martyrs get burned at the stake. Learn bout love. Romantic love & familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving & when to walk away. Don’t project your needs, feelings onto a relationship. (I will not be more beautiful, intelligent, lovable, and important because of the person on my arm. Look relationships as they really are, not as you would have them to be. Don’t try to control people, situations & outcomes. Just as people grow & change, so is it with love…. You don’t have the right to demand love on your terms just to make you happy. Alone does not mean lonely… Look in the mirror & come to terms with the fact you will never be a size 2 or a perfect 10 & you stop trying 2 compete with the image inside your head & agonizing over how you stack up. Stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over & ignoring your needs. Learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK. It’s your right to want & that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You realize that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, respect & won’t settle for less!! Allow yourself a love who will cherish you to glorify you with there touch & in that process you internalize the meaning of self-respect. Learn that your body is your temple, care for it & treat it with respect, eat right and take care of your health, take time to rest, take time to laugh and play… laughter fuels the soul. You learn that in life you get what you believe you deserve & life is self fulfilling. Anything worth achieving is worth working for & wishing for something to happen is DIFFERENT than working toward making it happen….In order to achieve success you need direction, discipline & perseverance. No one can do it alone & its OK to risk asking for help... You learn that the only thing in fear is fear itself. You learn to fight for your life & not squander it. Life is not fair, you don’t always get what you want or think you deserve & sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting good people. You learn it’s not God punishing you or failing to answer your prayers, its just life happening. Learn that negative feelings, anger, resentment, must be understood & redirected so as not to suffocate the life left in you. Admit when you’re wrong & build bridges instead of walls. Take comfort in the simple things you once took for granted. Live life for God, for you and the rest will fall into place.